We often think of low self esteem as showing up in a lack of confidence, shyness, and an unwillingness to put ourselves out there, but in fact a lack of self esteem and by extension, self acceptance and self love has so many more symptoms than that. It is only by learning to esteem, accept and love ourselves that we can overcome these issues in our lives.
Take the quiz below and see what shows up in your life.
Rate the following from 0 to 10 (0 = not an issue for me, 10 = this is a serious issue for me)
I often feel:
_____ Worthlessness
_____ Anger
_____ Sadness
_____ Shyness
_____ Loneliness
_____ Fear of rejection
_____ Fear of failure
_____ Social anxiety
_____ Insecurity in relationships
_____ Anxiety over humiliation
_____ Inferior to those around me
_____ Self hate
_____ Over sensitivity to others
_____ Over sensitivity to criticism
_____ Fear and anxiety over a powerless to change anything in my world
_____ Fear or anxiety over my lack of control over the world around me
_____ Hurt
_____ Like I don’t deserve to be happy
_____ Like other people dislike me
_____ Like my opinion does not matter to others
_____ Hard done by
_____ Like I don’t fit in
_____ Fear repercussions
_____ I am not good enough
_____ Nothing I ever do is good enough
I often:
____ Tiptoe around so as not to piss someone off.
____ Compare myself unfavorably with others
____ Think there is nothing special about me
____ Question everything I do
____ Lack confidence
____ Feel like I serve no purpose on earth/no value
____ Can’t express myself in company
____ Put myself down
____ Consider my successes due to luck
____ Blame myself when something goes wrong
____ Get angry and nasty with myself if I make a mistake
____ Can’t give an honest critisism of others to their face, even if they ask me what I think
____Can’t leave bad relationships
____ Suffer from panic or anxiety attacks when I do something I think is stupid
____ Find it hard to say no
____ Get overly embarrassed, devastated humiliated or depressed when you make a mistake
____ Don’t do new things to avoid looking foolish or inept
____ Don’t speak up in case I say something wrong
____ Don’t know what to say or do or wear
____ Don’t trust my decisions
____ Test love and devotion of people with unreasonable expectations for the outcome
____ Live more to avoid pain for failure or humiliation than to experience joy
____ Am extremely judgemental and critical about myself and my success
____Very concerned about the criticism and judgement of others
____ Not accepting of myself
____ Don’t not even like myself
I exhibit:
____ Workaholic behaviours
____ Poor boundaries
____ Self sabotaging behaviours
____ Over or underachieving
____Obsessive, compulsive or addictive behaviours
___ Lack of assertiveness
____ Poor body image
____ Perfectionism
____ Hyper vigilance
____ Weight problems
____ People pleasing behaviour
____ Excessive consideration for others
____ A lack of courage
____ Thinking that something needs to change in me to be happy
____ Need to prove myself time and time again (to myself or others alive or dead)
The statements above speak to some of the issues people struggle with when they do not have self-worth / self-esteem, or self-love.
If you find that your numbers are generally higher than 3, these are areas you should definitely do some work on. If you find that your numbers are over 5 and up to 10 you will certainly find that these issues are affecting your ability to enjoy your life, and feel confident and secure about yourself. Unfortunately, it is hard to do this kind of work alone, so consider working with someone, like me who specializes in realizing your worth and value.