Is it coaching you need?
The other day, I spoke to a woman who was looking for a coach. She said to me that she needed someone to help her find her way, to get her past her procrastination, to make her more effective, to help her set goals and to whip her into action and hold her accountable to ensure that she reach those goals.
“Great”, I said, “but tell me this, for what purpose?”
“Umm, so that I can be effective, get stuff done, grow in my career” she answered
“Sure, but for what purpose” I asked again
“Well, I want to be successful” she said.
“Lovely,” I agreed “I myself am a fan of success, but tell me, for what purpose”
“So that I can be happy, satisfied, make a contribution to the world, have meaning and purpose”
“That’s wonderful, for what purpose?”
“So that I can feel like I have worth, importance, value.” she replied, starting to get curious about my irritatingly repetitive question. “So I can feel like I am enough, worthwhile, acceptable, lovable, meaningful.”
“So let me ask you this” I said, “what is stopping you from getting stuff done and being successful now? ”
“Is it because someone is not whipping you, holding you accountable for your life, helping you set goals, or is it that you don’t know how to access feeling enough, worthwhile, acceptable, happy etc.
The way I see it, we can have exactly the same job, but experience our lives in 2 possible ways:
The first, (and most people experience this) is striving, proving, fear of failing, self protection, anxiety, stress, pushing, whipping, exhaustion, in the hopes of finally reaching some level of success at which point we have decided that all of this angst will pay off and produce satisfaction, calm, happiness and a sense that we are finally enough.
The second is with the true and certain knowledge of where happiness, well-being, motivation and contentment come from, and with that understanding, live in a state of energy, enthusiasm, happiness and contentment, while engaged in the adventure of that same job, with the same challenges, out comes and people. When we are in the second state, we really don’t need someone pushing us, driving us, motivating us. When we are there, we can find all of that internally, with ease, and clarity.
OK, so it turned out, that what this woman really wanted, was to be happy, to have a life where she could feel inspired instead of terrified, feel motivated instead of stressed, feel happy instead of striving and be excited for her challenges, instead of exhausted by them.
If that is what you really want too, then perhaps it is not coaching that you need to whip you into better shape, but rather insight into the beliefs, sabotages and miss-understandings that are stopping you from having this experience right now, and a simple, powerful shift that will allow you to live your life fully, feel great about yourself, and be inspired by the adventure that these few trips around the sun in your meat package has to offer you.
But what about being a better leader, a better version of yourself, better at getting things done? Well now, grasshopper, when your mind is in clarity, when your airtime is not occupied by the stressors that have kept you busy before, you will naturally have airtime for mastering creativity, inspiration, connection, communication, problem solving, clear decision making and vision.
So if you are looking to have someone whip you into shape and drive you, haul you through your fear, and hassle you into motivation, don’t look here, but if you are looking to find your own inspiration, motivation, thrill for life, this is the place. If what you really want from success is to feel, peace, harmony, excitement, motivation and pleasure in your life, to stop being afraid, depressed or even anxious, then what you really need is deep personal transformation. I don’t subscribe to helping you to find a way to do better at a life that you are not motivated, excited and thrilled for. I believe in helping you build an identity and life experience in which you are excited, motivated, and able to enjoy every moment of. For that, you don’t need life coaching, you need true transformation.
How would it work? Come and chat to Angela for a free discovery session, and we will get to know each other and chat about what you are looking to shift and change and master.