There is a lot on this site about self esteem and self confidence, but, lets talk about the ultimate goal, the big kahuna, the thing I really, really want for you, self love.
Many people pull back when we talk about self love, because they think that if we love ourselves we must by extension be arrogant, vain, self indulgent, uncaring, immodest people. That is a social myth! We bought into that idea, when our parents told us not to be too big for our boots, not to blow our own trumpet, when they said “who do you think you are”, and made us feel small and unworthy.
Consider – how would you be in the world if you really were able to give yourself the kind of love you crave from others. Unconditional love, you know, the kind of love that is kind, generous, caring, nurturing. The kind of love that accepts you with all your talents and lack of talents, exactly how you are.
Would that kind of love make you arrogant and vain and selfish? Or would that kind of love make you a person more able to love others? If you did not have to spend your thoughts worrying about how others were judging you, or on judging yourself, wouldn’t that make you a person who could engage more kindly and gently and compassionately with others? If you were the kind of person who felt loveable, wouldn’t that make you a person more able to love and care for others?
Arrogance, vanity, selfishness, treating others badly, these are not symptoms of love, quite the opposite, they are the behavior of those that need others to be less, so that they can be OK. They are a clear indication of a lack of self love (boy did they have us fooled!).
When you are truly, unconditionally loving to yourself, you can move through the world with deeper compassion for others, with a deep, abiding acceptance for who you really are, and with a warm and open heart. When you can live your life like that, life becomes an expression indescribable joy and presence and pleasure.
If you are looking for a self loving, warm and joyful coach to take you there, I am here for you. Contact me and lets explore how I can help you with your own personal transformation.
Disclaimer: The journey of personal development, healing, developing self esteem and self love are a deeply individual experiences, how long it takes and the results achieved, do vary from person to person.