We’ve all heard it:
“Set SMART goals!”
“Write them down!”
“Keep your eye on the prize!”
And sure, that sounds great — until you realise your ‘magic ticket to success’ is actually stressing you out.
For many of us, traditional goal setting ends up feeling like pressure instead of inspiration. The moment we attach our happiness or sense of worth to the outcome, the whole thing becomes a trap. Suddenly it’s not about the joy of moving toward something meaningful — it’s about whether or not we measure up.
And that’s where it all goes sideways.
When Goals Become the Enemy
In a recent coaching session, several people shared that their goals — which started as exciting visions — had begun to feel heavy.
They weren’t just chasing results anymore… they were chasing proof that they were good enough.
And when life didn’t unfold exactly to plan, they felt anxious, disappointed, even like failures.
The truth is, many of our goals are things we’ve “sucked out of our thumbs” — imaginary ideals that don’t always fit the messy, beautiful reality of being human.
Life First. Goals Second.
One of the biggest takeaways from that conversation was this: your life comes first — your goals should fit into it, not the other way around.
Yes, goals give you direction. They can motivate and stretch you.
But if you lose the joy of the journey, what’s the point?
One participant said, “I was so focused on getting there, I forgot to enjoy here.”
That shift — from chasing outcomes to living fully in the process — changed everything.
Redefining Success
So instead of judging success by the finish line, what if we measured it by how we show up each day?
Try these on:
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You showed up — even when you didn’t feel like it.
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You learned something new about yourself.
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You made someone else’s day a little better.
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You stayed curious and creative when things didn’t go to plan.
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You enjoyed yourself — even just for a moment.
Honestly, could there be a better measure of success than “I showed up and I enjoyed myself”?
That simple reframe frees you from the harsh self-judgment of “getting it right” and invites you to celebrate progress, growth, and presence instead.
How to Begin
If this resonates, here’s a gentle starting point:
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Notice where your goals make you tense or self-critical.
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Ask, “Am I enjoying this process — or am I just trying to prove something?”
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Make your own list of success markers based on joy, learning, contribution, and connection.
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Check in daily: How did I show up? What did I enjoy? Who did I uplift?
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Practice letting go of the need to achieve in order to feel enough.
You are not your goals. Your worth was never up for debate.
The Real Win
Goal setting doesn’t have to feel like a test you might fail.
When you realign your goals with what makes you come alive — joy, growth, connection, curiosity — you naturally move toward success in a way that feels effortless and deeply satisfying.
Let your goals guide you, not judge you.
And remember: the journey is the point.
If you find that your life is experienced as a bundle of unhappiness, anxiety, fear, the gnawing feeling in your gut of not being good enough, there is a way though. Contact Angie and find out how she can help you learn to experience your life in a way that feels delicious to you.